Yes, I'm a Copywriter...but am I the right Copywriter for you?

I know that might sound like a weird question! Surely I've lured you to my website, now I just want to close the deal? Isn't that how it works?

Well, not really...
You see, I hope with all my fingers and toes crossed that you're the kind of person I'll work with - someone honest and open-minded with a great product or service that needs a wider audience.

But sadly, I get lots of enquiries that just don't fit the bill. I've had to buy a barge pole, just so I've got something not to touch them with!

So to save a lot of toing and froing, here's a list of Things I Don't Write:

1. Corporate Chaff. Of course I work with corporations (I love corporations!!) but I don't write corporate sounding copy. I want your message to feel like a natural conversation, so there's no place for the artificial language of the boardroom.

2. Noisy Drivel. If you've ever had a letter from a Will Writer, you should know what I mean. Too many exclamation marks, everything in red or bold or capitals...it's like yelling from the page, telling the reader they're stupid if they ignore you. Vile stuff!

3. Hype. Exaggerated claims and bullish talk. "It's like putting your business on steroids" or "this is the killer move that will have your competitors kneeling at your feet and begging you for mercy". Too cheesy, and no-one believes it!

4. Woolly New Age Yoghurty Stuff. Holistic Therapists, I'm sure you're lovely, but I'm not the person to write about crystals and pixies and healing paths. It's really not my bag.

5. Anything for the tobacco industry. Just a personal decision, but I don't want to help anyone coat their lungs with nasty gooey black stuff.

So, could we work together?
Well, if you're a tabacco king who wants to talk about Karma in big red capital letters, no! But if you're none of those things, we could take things further. Especially if...

...You want copy that mirrors your customers' natural way of talking

...You want to get under their skin, to focus on their hopes and dreams and nightmares

...You're happy to try new angles, new approaches, to set your message apart

...You want to join things up, online and off, so your customers won't have the chance to forget you 

If that describes you, I hope we can talk. And I hope it's really soon!

So put the kettle on, I'll grab a kit-kat and let's see how we get on...